Rise of the Phoenix

Got no place to go
But there's a girl waiting for me down in Mexico
She's got a bottle of tequila, a bottle of gin
And if I bring a little music I can fit right in

Oh, well happy New Year's baby
We could probably fix it if we clean it up all day
Or we could simply pack our bags
And catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag

            Counting Crows 2004

Phoenix is on my mind tonight.  I recently got back from a family vacation from there and the Grand Canyon.  First, the good:

-The people are extremely friendly, more so than in Atlanta.  Even the folks behind the cash registers are nice;

-The city is bizarrely clean.  I couldn't figure it out.  I just didn't see any trash, anywhere.  It's as if they instituted the death penalty for littering.  And now the bad:

-It is by far the ugliest major city I have ever seen.  The town is colorless.  It's a desert, so everything looks like it's about to shrivel up and die.  You see a lot of cactus, and very little grass.  In place of where the grass would normally be, like in medians, it's all gravel.  For some reason it reminded me of an ashtray;

-Within 10 minutes of being there I asked my wife for moisturizer.  I had always laughed at people who talked about “dry heat".  I just assumed they were like local newscasters, bantering about without really anything to say.  I was wrong.  Although the temperature was great for December (mainly in the 60’s), you just immediately dry out.  It's hard to describe; you don't sweat.  I couldn’t live there year-round.  And the miscellaneous:

-The demographics were unlike any city I've ever seen.  Atlanta is black and white, with sizable and growing Hispanic and Asian minorities.  Phoenix is Hispanic and white; I didn't see more than 10 African-Americans the whole time I was there.  After spending about a week there, and walking through the Super Target with large, bilingual Spanish and English signs, I realized something about the immigration debate (which apparently will be a major topic for Obama’s second term); it's irrelevant.

          I always think that immigration reform is really code word for “we don't want any more Hispanics in the US”.  Look, I'm for a very strong, tight, US border, but deep down I think that's how most people view the immigration debate.  I just can't see people getting so worked up if, for example, it was 12 million Jews or Asians who were illegal ("They're stealing all the accounting jobs! THIS MUST STOP!”). 

          In any event, when you're in Phoenix you realize that, well, it's too late folks.  Whether you’re happy about it or not, the amount of Hispanics in America will continue to grow.  They are the biggest minority group in the country already, with the highest birthrate.  It may make some people feel good to talk tough about deporting the illegal ones.  But it's irrelevant.  The horse has left the barn.

          -Did you know that the Grand Canyon is freezing in the winter? I didn't.  Don't make the same mistake I did.  It lives up to the hype, but it's challenging finding the right time to go.  I've been told it clears 100° in the summer. 

          -Uno is a fantastic game.  It's really a complex adult card game masquerading as a kid’s game.  Although it doesn't have the level of complexity and strategy as no limit poker, which I know a little bit about, it requires many of the same skills to be good.  My wife and I played a bunch on vacation, and still occasionally play (I'm guessing my single friends are cringing when they hear I took a vacation and played kids’ card games.  You know what I did on New Year's Eve?  The same thing I do almost every night of the year.  Enjoy your singlehood while it lasts).

Have a good night everyone.

JR