Calling all Asians

I know they're sayin' that we've gone lazy
To tell you the truth we've all seen better days
Don't need no fast buck lame duck profits for fun
Quick trick plans, take the money and run
We need long term, slow burn, getting it done
And some straight talking, hard working son of a gun.

                                Styx 1981

I'm old-school.  I still read newspapers.  Been doing it for decades.  I started noticing that whenever an article discussed anything having to do with racial differences, it tended to focus on Caucasians, African-Americans, and Hispanics.  Asians were only occasionally mentioned, probably because they are a small minority group, about 5% of the US population.  But I also noticed one other thing whenever they were mentioned; they always seemed to end up on top.  Crime rate? Asians were the lowest.  Average income? Asians were the highest.  IQ? Highest.  Teenage pregnancy rates? Lowest. You get the idea. There's plenty more.

So those are the objective facts.  But how about subjectively? I hope you don't mind if I stereotype, but I figure we’re all friends here.  In my experience it sure seems that Asians are smart, family-oriented, and hard-working; at a level way, way above average. They are givers to society, which is good considering we have too many takers.

So how do we start rebuilding America, a country in decline if there ever was one? We need more Asians. 

So I have a two-part homework assignment for you.  First, every time you see an Asian couple with one or two children, politely ask them to have one or two more.  If they don't feel comfortable being approached in this way and threaten to call the police, calmly explain to them that they have a duty to their country.  Offering to pay for a romantic, candlelit dinner is also a nice touch.  For the record, I do this about an hour a day.

Second, call a friendly representative from US Citizenship and Immigration Services.  Tell them that you love diversity and all that crap, but for the short term you would prefer a massive inflow of Asians.  Call me if you're not exactly sure what to say, I also spend about two hours a day doing this.

And if my plan for America doesn't work? Well, I've got a thing for Jews too.

Have a good night everyone.

JR